Dear friends from all over the world!

So, what about these unpleasant behaviors? I don’t want to excuse any of them, but some aspects of the Parisians’ attitude can be explained with the life conditions.

First, Paris and its surrounding cities have one of the highest population densities in the world. Consequently its residents are faced with constant traffic jams, crowded streets, and packed public transportation. Like most big cities, it’s also loud, busy and a bit gritty. All this can be tiring and get on one’s nerves.

Second, Parisians don’t have the same social etiquette as, say, the Japanese (with their refined manners and politeness, strict code of behavior in public, and modesty). Parisians can be very direct in comparison, and they’re definitely more individualistic and undisciplined: they seem to both love the rules, and love to break them! Wether they admit it or not, they kind of like living in an “organized mess” 😉 So living together in Paris is often much more challenging than in Tokyo.

My take on the Parisians’ reputation is that their apparent temper is above all a way to protect themselves from the pace of life in the city and from its residents’ unconscious attitude.

So you’ll occasionally come across people who act in an unfriendly way, and it doesn’t change a thing if you’re a customer. There’s nothing personal about it, they act like that with locals or tourists alike. But my feeling is that it’s slowly shifting, as Parisians want to change their bad reputation. And the other good news is, all of us can accelerate that shift!

Moody Parisians can become charming in a split second

Actually, what I came to realize over the years, is that indifferent or moody Parisians could transform themselves into charming people so quickly! This was when I took the time to look at them in the eyes and smile! That is, when I took the time to create a humane experience.

To be honest, I was not necessarily thinking about that when I was a busy and stressed corporate woman. I too was probably showing signs of impatience when interacting with clerks in stores, standing in line at supermarket checkout -always too slow!-, or avoiding any human contact with other people in the crowded public transportations… I was on auto-pilot, reflecting people’s behavior around me. Thus I was somehow participating in the frantic and impersonal environment, and receiving the same energy I was sending out.

Getting more aware

When I became more aware of my OWN attitude, I started to pay attention, practice calm patience (which is another way to say “being present in the here and now”), and be gentle and warm in my interactions. Today I seldom find myself stressed out by what’s happening around me, or have any unpleasant experiences in Paris (even with taxi drivers!) All the contrary, I keep making wonderful encounters in the most improbable places!

When I feel that my guests can benefit from my take, I share that with them. Most of the time they come back to me, later on, wondering, “What is this bad reputation they give to Parisians? They’re charming!”. That really pleases me, when my guests have a wonderful time in Paris!

What YOU can do to change your experience

Try that next time you are in Paris. Even if your French is not your mother tongue and you hardly stammer a few words like “bonjour” or “merci”, smile at people genuinely, make eyes contact, exchange a few kind words.

You’ll see that most of the time, your peaceful and joyful energy will transform people. The grumpy clerk at the metro counter will lighten up and smile back, and the stressed waiter at the café will relax 🙂 (And if it’s not the case, then “keep calm and carry on”, as the British say!)

This conscious attitude, making eyes contact, smiling, being fully present and serene, allows people you interact with to feel safe and express the best in them. And therefore they feel good and spread that feeling around them. A powerful formula we can practice in all our interactions, at home, at work, with our friends, etc.

Remember this beautiful quote from Maya Angelou:

“People will not remember what you said or what you did, but they will always remember how you made them feel.”  Maya Angelou

So, with this in mind, you’ll be able to enjoy Paris WITH its inhabitants, creating more personal and authentic experiences. And maybe you’ll get to actually really enjoy the Parisians too!